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From A Female Source
Spotlight on the G spot
Scientific reality or pure speculation? Even though most sexologists recognize
its existence, the question is still debated.
The famous G spot (which was named for German obstetrician and gynecologist
Ernst Grafenberg who "discovered" this area) is a small flesh cushion located on
the lower wall of the vagina, behind the pubic bone, just behind the bladder at
approximately two inches from the vulvar orifice.
Its size is equivalent to the prostate and secretes a liquid similar to sperm
(but without any spermatozoids) at the time of orgasm, a phenomenon that leads
some sexologists to talk about female ejaculation. Formal proofs of its
existence are still lacking.
For some people, the G spot is an invention that has no purposes other than
giving to the penis an important role in the female orgasm. They simply see it
as one of several erogenous zones.
Orgasms that last a lifetime?
Older couples and orgasms apparently don't make a good mix. Bad news for those
who dream of a platinum wedding with the man of their life: orgasms decrease as
the couple lasts.
Sociologist Michel Bozon studied the problem. His conclusion? "Vaginal orgasms
are more difficult to obtain at the beginning of a relationship, easier after
five to ten years and again more difficult in couples that last over 15 years.
One woman out of three in such long-lasting couples report problems."
Why women fake orgasms
Sexologists all agree that if women fake orgasms, it's to boost their partner's
ego. It's as simple as that: it's done to please the partner, and the instinct
to do so has been passed from one generation to the next.
Even though psychologists and sexologists recognize the diplomatic utility of
faking ("it doesn't cost anything and it makes him happy"), they place emphasis
on the long-term risks of this behaviour. Sexologists believe that many women
become so trapped by their faking that they can no longer control it. Stuck in
an unsatisfactory sexual relationship, they can hardly ask for changes, since
they regularly express their pretended pleasure with enthusiasm. Frustration
increases until the day they explode in front of a shocked partner.
In relationships, faking is often the tree that hides the forest of
disagreement. In frequent or completely absent communication, accumulated
resentment and emotional co-dependency are often at the source of a habit that
is far from being harmless. Some sexologists believe that a truly attentive
lover cannot be duped. According to these specialists, it's impossible to fake
some muscle contractions, as well as pupil dilatation, vaginal secretion, and
sweating at the spine, in other words, to fake all the physiological indicators
of orgasms.
Emergency plans
Before consulting a sexologist for orgasms that only register a 2 or 3 on the
Richter scale, bone up on your technique and see the improvements!
For them: squeezing
In case of premature ejaculation, Masters and Johnson recommend squeezing the
glans. You can do this with your partner without any penetration. When the man
reaches a certain level of sexual exceitement, he tells his partner, who firmly
grabs the penis just under the glans, putting pressure with her thumb just under
the head. She maintains the pressure for a few seconds, during which she doesn't
move the hand. The erection diminishes a bit, but quickly regains its vigor.
After two to three weeks, the results can be spectacular.
For us: Kegel exercises
Doctor Kegel discovered in 1952 that some muscular exercises reinforced the
webbing of the perineum (the area between the vulva and the anus that supports
the abdominal viscera).
Test yourself: during urination, suddenly stop the urinary flow, free it for a
few seconds and repeat. If you can't do it, try a routine to train yourself.
The exercises are extremely simple. You contract and release the perineum
muscles repeatedly; you can do it in the car, while lying down or reading...
Slowly squeeze for three seconds and release. Do this ten times.
Repeat the same exercises by trying to hold for ten seconds. Then, go faster:
contract and release as fast as possible for two minutes.
Sexual Tantricks
Considered as part of new age trends, tantric sex still puzzles and attracts
people with its promises of cosmic pleasure. It was popularized by people like
Sting (who maintained that one session with him can go as long as six hours) and
Canadian Margo Anand, whose best-seller The Art of Sexual Ecstasy details all
the necessary steps for reaching nirvana.
Sexual ecstasy classes show how to "contain the energetic charge released by the
erotic excitation of the sexual organs, and explain how to direct it through the
body by using subtle energy canals." The program: relaxation, exercises of the
five senses, solo or team work on breathing, suggestion of positions and
massages, and riding the "wave of pleasure" in teams of two.
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