bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a
tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby,
yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my
pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja:
Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress
up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your
chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism.
You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before
casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty
F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You
are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the
mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja:
I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into
a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you
piece of shit.
bloodninja: Robots are trying
to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the
robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for
destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold
war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of
him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I
think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja:
Baby?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to
hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl,
what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well,
hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3:
haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand
through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert
you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's
just part of the game.
bloodninja:
Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a
Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my
tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats
it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my
head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last
thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a
bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you
ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee
hee.
eminemBNJA:
huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show
you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants,
slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my
robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What
the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time
I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck
up.
eminemBNJA:
Oh shit
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names
or something
----------------------------------------------------------------------
bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
Katie_007: Sure, you into vegetables?
bloodninja: What like gardening an shit?
Katie_007: Yeah, something like that.
bloodninja: Nothing turns me on more, check this
out:
bloodninja: You bend over to harvest
your radishes.
(pause)
Katie_007: is that
it?
bloodninja: You water your tomato
patch.
bloodninja: Are you ready for my
fresh produce?
Katie_007: I was thinking of
like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more
sexy for me?
(pause)
bloodninja: I touch
you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... sexily.
bloodninja: I ride your buttocks like they were amber
waves of grains.
Katie_007: Grain doesn't
really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and
zucchinis.
bloodninja: my zucchinis
carresses your carrots.
bloodninja: Damn
baby you're right, this shit is HOTT.
Katie_007: ...
bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of
your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky
cauliflower of love.
Katie_007: What the
f*ck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my
cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see.
Bitch.
Katie_007: whatever.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What
do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a
miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My
measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear
glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from
Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of
barbecue sauce
on it from dinner...it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw
me?
Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music
playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm
looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your
crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to
sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt
and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now I'm
unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding
it off slowly.
Sweetheart: I'm throwing my
head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing
your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and
accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.
Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too
expensive.
Wellhung: I'll pay for
it.
Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm
wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I
breath harder and harder.
Wellhung: I'm
fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any
scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and
kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my
body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra
and inspecting the clasp.
Sweetheart: I'm
arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over
me.
Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm
licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair.
Now I'm nibbling your ear.
Wellhung: I
suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts
with the remains of my blouse.
Wellhung: I'm
taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.
Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and
rubbing your hard tool.
Wellhung: I'm
screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my
panties.
Wellhung: I'm pulling off your
panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm...
wait a minute.
Sweetheart: What's the
matter?
Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair
caught in my throat. I'm choking.
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all
red.
Sweetheart: Can I help?
Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly.
I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep
your cups?
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the
right of the sink.
Wellhung: I'm drinking a
cup of water. There, that's better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.
Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back
in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark,
I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?
Sweetheart:
Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung: I found it.
Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning.
I want you so badly.
Wellhung: Me
too.
Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss
you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.
Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my
face. It hurts.
Sweetheart: Why don't you
take off your glasses?
Wellhung: OK, but I
can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night
table.
Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed.
Give it to me, baby!
Wellhung: I have to
pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the
bathroom.
Sweetheart: Hurry back,
lover.
Wellhung: I find the bathroom and
it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your
return.
Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm
feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your
laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly
feeling my way.
Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come
on.
Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put
my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so
nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth,
moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an
erection.
Sweetheart: I'm standing up and
turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face,
my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's
wrong.
Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm
getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet
nasty blouse.
Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm
squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser,
knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your
candles.
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my
blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on.
My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire!
I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you
loser!
Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire!
Oh noooo!
Sweetheart: <logged off>
----------------------------------------------------------------------
hotstud69: Hello there
blondebabe4u: Hi
hotstud69: What is your name?
blondebabe4u: Sandy, urs?
hotstud69: Bob, nice to meet you.. what are you doing
tonight?
blondebabe4u: Nothing, just
chatting, u?
hotstud69: not too much, just
sitting around... what are you wearing?
blondebabe4u: oh just my thong and a tank
top.
hotstud69: oh wow, I would love to see
that, what do you look like?
blondebabe4u: I
am 5'6" blonde hair, green eyes, 120 lbs, you?
hotstud69: i am 6'0" 175, brown hair, blue eyes, and
tan
blondebabe4u: you sound very
handsome
hotstud69: how about I pull that
tank top off?
blondebabe4u: Oh Bob, i would
love for you too....
hotstud69: Oh yea,
those look great... they feel nice too
blondebabe4u: yes bob, my 36D's like that, you are
good
hotstud69: oh yes, they feel so good, I
am squeezing them..
blondebabe4u: yes bob,
you know what you are doing.
hotstud69: Oh
yea, I am getting so excited
blondebabe4u:
need me to help you there Bob
hotstud69: oh
yea, let me unzip for you
blondebabe4u: oh
wow bob, you have a nice one
hotstud69: OH
SHIT
blondebabe4u: What?
hotstud69: SON OF A BITCH!!!
blondebabe4u: whats wrong?
hotstud69: Got it stuck in the zipper...
blondebabe4u: What?
hotstud69: oh god, I am bleeding.....
blondebabe4u: bob, are you ok?
hotstud69: OMG... OMG...
blondebabe4u: Bob??
hotstud69: I am feeling faint... blood
everywhere...
blondebabe4u: are you
ok?
hotstud69: HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!
blondebabe4u: what bob what??
hotstud69: IT FEEL OFF!!!!!!!!!!!
blondebabe4u: fell off?
hotstud69: it is on the floor, laying there... I am
looking at it, damn, thought it would be bigger.........
blondebabe4u: call an abulance...
hotstud69: I can't
blondebabe4u: why
hotstud69: Because I am on the computer
blondebabe4u: well get off
hotstud69: the last time tried to get off, my dick
fell off........
blondebabe4u:
bob??
blondebabe4u: bob??
blondebabe4u: bob??
hotstud69: has left the room
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Girl: Hi
Boy: hello
Boy: who is
this?
Girl: just a someone?
Boy: A someone I know?
Girl: nope
Boy: Then
why the hell are you bothering me?
Girl:
well sorrrrrry
Girl: I just wanted to chat
with you
Boy: why?
Girl: nevermind your an asshole
Boy: Hey wait a minute
Girl: yes?
Boy: look
I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
Girl:
paranoid?
Boy: yes
Girl: f what?
Girl:
me?
Boy: No. I'm in hiding.
Girl: LOL
Boy: Don't
fucking laugh at me!
Boy: This shit is
serious!
Girl: What are you hiding
from?
Boy: The cops.
Girl: gimme a fucking break
Boy: I'm serious.
Girl:
I don't get it
Boy: The cops are after
me.
Girl: For what?
Boy: I'm wanted in three states
Girl: For???
Boy: It's
kindof embarrasing.
Boy: I had sex with a
turkey.
Boy: Hello?
Girl: You are fucking sick.
Boy: Send me your picture.
Girl: why?
Boy: so I
know you aren't one of them.
Girl: One of
what?
Boy: The cops.
Girl: I'm not a cop i told you
Boy: Then send me your picture.
Girl: hold on
Boy:
Hurry up.
Boy: Are you there?
Boy: fuck you, cop!
Girl: Hey sorry
Girl: I
had to do something for my mom.
Boy: I
thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
Boy: When really you were notifying the
authorities.
Boy: Weren't you!?
Girl: thats not it
Boy:
Then what?
Girl: I don't want to send you
the picture cause I'm not pretty
Boy: Most
cops aren't
Girl: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU
DICKHEAD!
Boy: Then send me the
picture.
Girl: fine. What's your
e-mail?
Boy: Just send it through
here.
Girl: alright *PIC*
Girl: Did you get it?
Boy: Hold on. I'm looking.
Girl: That was me back in may
Girl: I've lost weight since then.
Boy: I hope so
Girl:
what?!?
Girl: that hurt my
feelings.
Boy: Did it?
Girl: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that
now.
Boy: Will it make you feel better if I
send you my picture?
Girl: yes
Boy: Alright let me find it.
Girl: kks
Boy: Okay
here it is. *PIC*
Girl: this isn't
you.
Boy: I'll be damned if it
ain't!
Girl: You don't look like
that.
Boy: How the hell do you
know?
Girl: cause your profile has another
picture.
Boy: The profile pic is a
fake.
Boy: I use it to hide from the
cops.
Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy
lol
Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the
Farm Fresh guy....
Boy: Not to mention all
the groceries.
Girl: Go fuck
yourself
Boy: I was going to until I saw
that picture
Boy: Now my dick won't get hard
for a week.
Girl: I shouldn't have sent you
that picture.
Girl: You've done nothing but
slam me.
Girl: you hurt me.
Boy: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt
me?
Girl: I thought you were bullshitting
me!
Boy: Why would I do that?
Girl: I can't believe that cops are after
you
Boy: I can't believe Santa lets you sit
on his lap..
Girl: FUC YOU!!!
Boy: You'd break both of his legs.
Girl: You're a FUCKing asshole.
Girl: I've been teased my whole life because of my
weight
Girl: and you make fun of me when you
don't even know me
Boy: Ok. I'm
sorry.
Girl: No you aren't
Boy: You're right. I'm not.
Boy: HAARRRRR!
Girl:
I'm done with you
Boy: Aww. I'm
sorry.
Girl: I'm putting you on
ignore
Boy: Wait a sec
Boy: We got off on the wrong foot.
Boy: Wanna start over?
Girl: No
Boy: I'll eat
your pussy
Girl: You'll what?
Boy: You heard me.
Boy:
I said I'd eat your pussy.
Girl: I thought
you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
Boy: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy?
Girl: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is
excited yes
Boy: Well I'm not like most
men.
Boy: I get excited in different
ways.
Girl: Like what?
Boy: Do you really wanna know?
Girl: I don't know
Boy:
You have to tell me yes or no.
Girl: I'm
afraid to
Boy: Why?
Girl: cause
Boy: cause
why?
Girl: well lets see
Girl: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me
fat. then you wanna eat me out
Girl: doesn't
that seem strange to you?
Boy: Nope
Girl: well its strange to me
Boy: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me
to
Girl: I didn't say that
Boy: So is that a yes?
Girl: I guess so.
Boy:
Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
Boy: Are you willing?
Girl: What do you need me to do?
Boy: I need you talk like a pirate.
Girl: ???
Boy: When I
start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
Boy:
ok?
Boy: Hello?
Girl: You can't be serious
Boy: Oh yes I am!
Boy:
It's my fantasy.
Girl: this is
retarded
Boy: Do you want it or
not?
Girl: Yes I want it.
Boy: Then you'll do it for me?
Girl: sure
Boy: Ok.
Here we go.
Boy: I gently remove your
panties and being to massage your thighs.
Boy: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge
brushing up against them
Boy: I softly begin
to tounge your wet pussy.
Boy: I run my
tounge up and down your smooth slit.
Girl:
mmmm yeah
Boy: uh oh ...going limp.
Girl: Har
Boy: You
gotta do better than that!
Boy: Your picture
was really bad.
Girl:
HARRRRRRRRRRRR
Boy: Ahhhh. Much better. I
feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke.
Boy: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and
out of my mouth.
Boy: Your juices run down
my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
Boy: I begin to feel empowered by your
femininity.
Girl: mmmmmm you are
good
Boy: I feel your thighs tighten as I
suck harder
Boy: going limp
Girl: HARRRRRRR
Boy:
Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
Boy: You begin to sway back and forth.
Boy: going limp
Girl:
this is stupid
Boy: ...still limp
Boy: Do it!
Girl:
HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
Boy: I turn you around to
lick your asshole.
Boy: I pry apart that
battleship you call your ass.
Boy: I see
shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole.
Girl: WTF?!?!?
Boy:
They stink really bad.
Girl: OMG
STOP!!!
Boy: I start to get fed up with your
ugly ass
Boy: I tear off your wooden peg
leg.
Boy: I ram it up your ass.
Girl: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!
Boy: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
Boy: And turn you into a fucking candy
apple...
Boy: I kick you in the
face!
Girl: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!
Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of
the cabin...
Boy: Your parrot flys
away.
Boy: ...going limp again.
Boy: Hello?
Boy: Say
it!
Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
evil_sarah: So you like
bbws?
VictimX4: Nope...I Luv
BBW"S...;o)))
evil_sarah: You're sort of
cute.
VictimX4: ThanXXX...;o)))
VictimX4: Am Truly Honored...
evil_sarah: You look like you really know how to
handle a woman like me.
VictimX4:
24/7...........;o)))
evil_sarah: So what
would you do to me if I was there right now?
VictimX4: cover you in cane syrup and start licking
you from your toes up to your ears...
evil_sarah: Mmmmm. That sounds good. Then
what?
VictimX4: rub you down with baby oil
and make HOT SLIPPERY LOVE to You For Hours...
evil_sarah: I only have 5 toes.
evil_sarah: Is that a problem for you?
VictimX4: is ok with me...
evil_sarah: Ok.
evil_sarah: I lost one of my legs in Desert
Storm.
evil_sarah: They didn't show any of
it on CNN, but it was hell over there.
evil_sarah: I was really in the shit.
VictimX4: am a vet also...
evil_sarah: yeah. From what war?
VictimX4: Nam Era...
evil_sarah: Really?
evil_sarah: You kill a lot of gooks over
there?
VictimX4: some...was in Armor...a
Tanker...
evil_sarah: You kill any women and
children?
VictimX4: not that I Know
of...
evil_sarah: I did.
evil_sarah: I hit them with the flame
thrower.
evil_sarah: They tried to tell me
they were civilians but I knew better.
evil_sarah: So I torched them.
evil_sarah: One of them threw a grenade and blew off
one of my legs.
VictimX4: was pretty
lucky...came back "Almost" like I left...
evil_sarah: What do you mean "Almost"?
VictimX4: still think about tymes...there...but ok
Physically...
evil_sarah: Yeah? Did you ever
make a neclace out of ears?
VictimX4: you
never really forget...
evil_sarah: I
did.
VictimX4: no...tried very hard to keep
my Sanity...
evil_sarah: I still have a
finger neclace that I wear every day.
evil_sarah: It stunk for a while but now it's just
like a bunch of beef jerky.
VictimX4: did
not get to bring anything back...
evil_sarah: They didn't want to let me keep it on the
transport back so I had to hide it in my ass.
evil_sarah: It hurt. The fingernails kept scratching
me.
evil_sarah: Let's not talk about those
times.
evil_sarah: You were just about to
oil up my stump.
VictimX4: ok...
evil_sarah: Keep going. Tell me what you would do
next.
VictimX4: completely lost the
mode...sorry...
VictimX4: mood...
evil_sarah: Come on. Pretend I'm one of those Saigon
whores.
VictimX4: mind kinda wonders off to
those tymes...
VictimX4: they were not
really all that hot...alll skin and bones...
VictimX4: not cuddly at all...
evil_sarah: Tell me I'm a slut and pull my
hair.
VictimX4: I like to do
that...;o)))
evil_sarah: What's up with that
link on your profile? You have herpes?
VictimX4: yes...one thing I did get to bring
back...
evil_sarah: I got it too from
Kuwait.
evil_sarah: No big deal. I can deal
with it.
VictimX4: me also...
evil_sarah: Does yours itch?
VictimX4: am pretty lucky...only a few tymes a
yr...
evil_sarah: Sometimes i can't tell if
it's the herpes or the vaginosis. But it itches like crazy.
evil_sarah: It smells horrible too. Like a burning
tire.
evil_sarah: So come on. You were in
the middle of oiling me up.
evil_sarah:
Let's get it on.
VictimX4: Sorry ...maybe
some other tyme...maybe???
evil_sarah: No.
Come on. You got me all excited now.
evil_sarah: Don't you want to have cyber sex with
me?
VictimX4: can not concentrate right
now...
evil_sarah: Why not?
evil_sarah: You're not having flashbacks to the Nam
are you?
VictimX4: not really
flashbacks...just bad memeories
evil_sarah:
Like what?
evil_sarah: You hearing
voices?
evil_sarah: You got gooks in the
peremiter?
VictimX4: you always hear their
voices and see their faces...but worst yet is when the faces
VictimX4: you see is their Death Face...not when they
were alive...
evil_sarah: Oh yeah. Now
your're getting me hot. Keep going.
evil_sarah: I'm sucking on one of the fingers from my
neclace right now. Hello?
VictimX4: have to
hit the showers. Got to get up for work tomorrow.
evil_sarah: No don't go!
evil_sarah: I'm almost finished.
evil_sarah: I'm fingering my self with one of the
bigger ones from my neclace.
VictimX4: don't
have tyme
evil_sarah: This fuckign
vaginosois. Makes it look like it's covered with cottage cheese.
VictimX4: sounds nice. Bye.
evil_sarah: You pussy!
evil_sarah: A real man would at least finish a woman
off.
evil_sarah: You have no
backbone.
VictimX4: But I love you! You are
a bbw!!
evil_sarah: That's why you couldn't
bring yourself to torch those women and kids In the Nam.
evil_sarah: I once burned a kid to death with a pack
of matched
evil_sarah: because my
flamethrower was out of gas.
VictimX4:
Bye.
evil_sarah: I smuggled one guy's brains
back in a mayonnaise jar.
evil_sarah: I put
it on crackers and eat it at special occasions.
VictimX4: You're sick. Goodbye.
evil_sarah: Mostly on Holidays. I don't have much
left.
evil_sarah: Are you still
there?
evil_sarah: ANSWER ME!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Bigbenny02: hi, a/s/l?
kwazyfwies: hiya 18/f/usa u?
Bigbenny02: wow, 18/m/usa
Bigbenny02: want to cyber?
kwazyfwies: yes
kwazyfwies: you start ok?
Bigbenny02: ok then
Bigbenny02: I slowly advanced towards you, my
breathing quickens
kwazyfwies: I'm laying on
my bed with just my blouse and nikers on
Bigbenny02: I growl like a sexualy frustrated
beast!
kwazyfwies: lol, I ask you to come
closer
Bigbenny02: I run across the room and
jump on top of you...
kwazyfwies: easy big
boy
Bigbenny02: i turn you over, and rub
your back slowly
kwazyfwies: mmmm thats
nice
Bigbenny02: I pin you down and let
loose an evil hissing sound
kwazyfwies:
wtf?
Bigbenny02: Surprise! muhahahahahaha,
i'm a vampire, and i vant to suck your blood!
kwazyfwies: forget it physco
Bigbenny02: don't you like it like that
babyface?
kwazyfwies: no
Bigbenny02: i was only joking! sorry, let me try
again
kwazyfwies: ok
Bigbenny02: I gently caress your tender
bottem.
kwazyfwies: I moan softly
Bigbenny02: All of a suden I scream loudly, pull
apart your arse cheeks, burry my face in the dingle berry encrusted hair
mass, and inhale deeply through my nose
kwazyfwies: you sick fuck
Bigbenny02: you smell bad baby, do you wash?
kwazyfwies: bye looser.
Bigbenny02: sorry, its my bad sense of humor, Most
people i say it to find it funny?
kwazyfwies: ...i don't
Bigbenny02: I turn you over, and pull out my purple
headed warrior
kwazyfwies: its not very
big
Bigbenny02: you won't be saying that
when it infiltrates your poop tube and rips apart your colon!!!
Bigbenny02: I thrust my pocket rocket at you, and
begin humping your leg like a powerful german shepard!
kwazyfwies: don't talk to me ever again
Bigbenny02: I move my hands down to your black
triangle of love, somehow managing to wade through the jungle of pubic
hair, i find a pink patch...
Bigbenny02:
omg. hidden in the hair is a small penis!
kwazyfwies: i'm reporting you...
Bigbenny02: I squeel like a freshly wounded pig at
the sight of it.
Bigbenny02: "so thats your
dark secret!" i scream, "you sick twisted bitch!"
Bigbenny02: u run away, into the night, crying, the
cold wind whipps your naked flesh, i chase after you
Bigbenny02: i drop kick you, and rip off your left
leg leaving a small bloody stump. "you aint pretty no more!!!"
kwazyfwies: blocked. looza
Bigbenny02: bye sweet stuff
----------------------------------------------------------------------
VictimX_27: Hi there!
cheesedog: HEYA!
VictimX_27: What u up 2?
cheesedog: Nice English.
cheesedog: Did you learn that on the short
bus?
VictimX_27: Get fucked
cheesedog: I'm just joking relax
VictimX_27:
cheesedog:
What's your name?
VictimX_27: Whats
yours?
cheesedog: I asked you first.
VictimX_27: I asked you second
cheesedog: Did I time just warp to middle
school?
VictimX_27: huh
cheesedog: Never mind. My name is Johnny
cheesedog: Johnny Cheesedog
VictimX_27: Thats not your real name
cheesedog: Why isn't that my real name?
VictimX_27: No one has the name Cheesedog as a last
name
cheesedog: Well I do. Whats wrong with
it?
VictimX_27: Nothin i suppose
VictimX_27: Is that your real pic in that
av?
cheesedog: Yes it is
VictimX_27: Very handsome
cheesedog: Thanks
VictimX_27: You kinda look like eminem
cheesedog: Fuck you.
VictimX_27: HEY! I meant that in a good way
VictimX_27: I think eminem is hot!
cheesedog: Oh. You think I'm hot?
VictimX_27: Yeah
cheesedog: What do you look like?
cheesedog: Do you have a pic?
VictimX_27: I don't show my picture to
anyone
cheesedog: Why not?
VictimX_27: Cause I'm ugly
cheesedog: I won't make fun of you
VictimX_27: Its not that. I just don't like my
looks
cheesedog: So you have no self-esteem,
huh?
cheesedog: Is that what you're
saying?
VictimX_27: I just don't think I'm
pretty
cheesedog: Let me be the judge of
that.
VictimX_27: Nahhh
cheesedog: Then describe yourself.
VictimX_27: Why do u wanna know what I look
like?
cheesedog: Because I think you're
nice
cheesedog: I want to picture you in my
head while I'm talking to you.
VictimX_27:
LMAO!! You don't want 2 picture me. Trust me
cheesedog: Why not?
VictimX_27: I told you. I'm ugly.
cheesedog: Well... I think you're beautiful on the
inside.
VictimX_27: You don't even know
me
cheesedog: I'm a pretty good judge of
character
VictimX_27: Then why do u need 2
see me?
cheesedog: I just wanted to know
thats all
cheesedog: If you aren't
comfortable with it... thats fine.
VictimX_27: You don't understand
cheesedog: Is it that bad?
VictimX_27: YESSSSS
cheesedog: Ok then. I'm gonna picture you as Weezy
from the Jeffersons.
cheesedog: She is the
bomb!
cheesedog: She makes me hot just
thinking about her!
VictimX_27:
Wheezy?
cheesedog: Yep. Weezy.
VictimX_27: Who is that?
cheesedog: George's wife.
VictimX_27: Who is george
cheesedog: George Jefferson. From the
Jeffersons.
cheesedog: Are you fucking
deaf?
VictimX_27: Who are the
Jeffersons?
cheesedog: Oh lord. Here we
go
VictimX_27: wut?
cheesedog: You don't know who the Jeffersons
are?
VictimX_27: Should I?
cheesedog: Yes.
VictimX_27: Well I don't.
cheesedog: FISH DONT FRY IN THE KITCHEN! BEANS DONT
BURN ON THE GREEEELL...
VictimX_27:
huhhh?
cheesedog: TOOK A WHOOOOLE LOTTA LU UH
VINNNN. JUST TO GET UP THAT HEEEELL
VictimX_27: Wut the hell are you saying?
cheesedog: Hold on a second
cheesedog: Here you go. *PIC*
VictimX_27: Thats her?
cheesedog: Yep
VictimX_27: I don't look anything like that
cheesedog: SHUT UP! You're ruining my
fantasy!
VictimX_27: LOL. You're
funny.
cheesedog: What's funny?
VictimX_27: u r
cheesedog: I'm glad I entertain you
VictimX_27: me 2
cheesedog: So if you don't look like Weezy, what do
you look like?
VictimX_27: u don't give up
do u?
cheesedog: Never
VictimX_27: I'm the exact opposite of her
cheesedog: ???
VictimX_27: I'm very white
cheesedog: Thats cool, my white anti-soul
sista'
VictimX_27: LOL
cheesedog: I can dig white chicks too, I
guess.
VictimX_27: I'm whiter than
most
cheesedog: really?
VictimX_27: I'm an albino
cheesedog: a what?
VictimX_27: u don't know what that is?
cheesedog: I've heard the word before
VictimX_27: I have no pigment in my skin, eyes or
hair
VictimX_27: So I'm all white
cheesedog: This is bullshit
VictimX_27: I'm serious!
VictimX_27: You've never seen an albino
before?
cheesedog: No. Where do they live?
Albinia?
VictimX_27: No, we live all
over.
cheesedog: Then how come I've never
seen any
VictimX_27: Lucky I
suppose
cheesedog: Send me your picture. I
wanna know what an albino looks like.
VictimX_27: I'll send you a picture of one but not
me
cheesedog: Ok
VictimX_27: Here u go *PIC*
cheesedog: Whoa. Thats freaky
VictimX_27: See why I don't send my picture
out?
cheesedog: there's nothing wrong with
it.
cheesedog: It doesn't make you
ugly
cheesedog: This chick is kind of hot
actually.
VictimX_27: Thank u
cheesedog: No problem
cheesedog: Her, not you. I don't know what you look
like.
VictimX_27: Are you gonna be on in 3
hours?
cheesedog: Yes
VictimX_27: I have to go to the mall with my
sister
VictimX_27: Will you be here when I
get back?
cheesedog: S ure. Then I'll sex you
up.
VictimX_27: Gee thanks. LOL
cheesedog: I'm serious
VictimX_27: We'll see.
cheesedog: Yes we will.
VictimX_27: Bye for now!
cheesedog: Make sure you wear some sunscreen.
VictimX_27: <USER HAS LOGGED OUT>
About 3 hours later...
VictimX_27: HEY!
cheesedog: Hello there
VictimX_27: I'm back
cheesedog: Have fun at the mall?
VictimX_27: Yeah. I got some new shoes
cheesedog: Interesting
VictimX_27: Not really. Just shoes
cheesedog: You ready to be sexed up now?
VictimX_27: LOL
cheesedog: Is that a yes?
VictimX_27: Could be
VictimX_27:
cheesedog:
HOT DAMN!
cheesedog: I gently suck your
nipples
cheesedog: I feel them get hard then
I jam my hand down your..
VictimX_27: WOAH!
Slow down cowboy
cheesedog: Why?
VictimX_27: I'm not just gonna cyber with you if
thats all you want
cheesedog: What do you
mean?
VictimX_27: You're not going to ignore
me later are you?
cheesedog: Of course
not.
cheesedog: I like you.
VictimX_27: I don't even know how old you
are.
cheesedog: I'm 27. Now....
cheesedog: I gently massage your breasts with my rough
hands
cheesedog: I roll your nipples between
my fingers
VictimX_27: WAIT!
cheesedog: They get hard again... what?
VictimX_27: Don't you wanna know anything about me
first?
VictimX_27: Like what I
like?
cheesedog: Oh yeah. Sure. Hurry
up.
VictimX_27: That didn't sound
convincing.
cheesedog: YES I WANNA KNOW WHAT
YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW!!!
VictimX_27: Now u r
being a smartass
VictimX_27: Just give me a
minute
cheesedog: ok
VictimX_27: I'm back
cheesedog: np
VictimX_27: thank you
cheesedog: So what do you like?
VictimX_27: Ummmm being licked
cheesedog: Where?
VictimX_27: Everywhere
cheesedog: Any place in particular?
VictimX_27: uhhh yeah
cheesedog: tell me
VictimX_27: on my clit
cheesedog: OK!
cheesedog:
NOW YOU'RE TALKIN!
VictimX_27: I also like
being done from behind
cheesedog:
Ooooooohhhh.
cheesedog: Ok. Check this
out.
cheesedog: We're in an abandoned
building.
cheesedog: No is around. Its all
quiet.
VictimX_27: Uh huh
cheesedog: I gently unbutton your pants and slide my
hand across your clit
cheesedog: You get all
warm and juicy.
cheesedog: I slip your
panties down and continue to massage your pussy
VictimX_27: oooohh mmmm
cheesedog: I place my mouth on your pussy as I eat you
from behind
cheesedog: I wiggle my tounge
around across your moist hole
VictimX_27:
yessss
cheesedog: I cover your ears with my
hands as I eat you.
cheesedog: Egon and Ray
sneak in from the back.
cheesedog: *Powering
up Proton packs*
VictimX_27: ???
cheesedog: Then... Egon BLASTS your pasty white
ass!!
cheesedog: POW!!
BZZZZZTTTTTPHTTTTTT!!!
cheesedog: Winston and
Peter set up the containment trap....
VictimX_27: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!!!
cheesedog: You wiggle around in the proton streams
buck naked
cheesedog: The streams almost
cross! Look out!!
cheesedog: Peter smacks you
across the chin with his gun
cheesedog: They
open the trap and it sucks your pale ass in!
VictimX_27: This isn't funny johnny!
cheesedog: SHUT UP! YOUR CAUGHT!
cheesedog: **puts you in the containment
area**
cheesedog: Slimer is in there
too..
VictimX_27: YOU ARE A FUCKING
ASSHOLE!
cheesedog: I SAID SHUT THE FUCK
UP!
cheesedog: Now...Slimer sticks his green,
slimey cock in your pigmentless ass.
cheesedog: **HE SLIMES YOU!**
VictimX_27: Never talk to me again!
cheesedog: He cums all over your hair... but no one
notices cause its the same color
VictimX_27:
FUCK YOUUUU
cheesedog: He eats a powdered
donut!
VictimX_27: SHUT UP AND FUCK
YOUUUU!!!!!
cheesedog: o wait! It was your
hand, you scary, white whore!
VictimX_27:
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
cheesedog: Chill out,
Casper. You're trapped, I said.
cheesedog:
Slimer goes to lick your clit.
cheesedog: But
there is already slime on your it!!
cheesedog: Slimer thinks you are a cheater and gets
jealous!!
cheesedog: HE RIPS YOUR WHITE TITS
OFF!
VictimX_27: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!
cheesedog: **Plays volleyball with them**
VictimX_27: <USER HAS LOGGED OUT>
----------------------------------------------------------------------
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: hey
you?
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: im
good
el_effu_gone_wild: wuz up babe how u
been
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: so good
now
el_effu_gone_wild: what u doing
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: chilling at home
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: and now im thinking about
you
el_effu_gone_wild: me too babe
el_effu_gone_wild: what's up what u wanna do
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: ciber
el_effu_gone_wild: are u wet?
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: I don't know are you
baby?
el_effu_gone_wild: im soaking
wet
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: what do you
like?
el_effu_gone_wild: big tasty
pussies
el_effu_gone_wild: u got
one
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: oh yeah, me
to
el_effu_gone_wild: are u naked?
el_effu_gone_wild: what are ur measurements
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: we are are making out on the
couch
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: re you a
dude?
el_effu_gone_wild: yeah why?
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: god damn it so am i
el_effu_gone_wild: forget it
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: thats ok we can still make
this work. wear on the couch and I'm rubbing your tits
el_effu_gone_wild: oh hell no
el_effu_gone_wild: no way
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: come on,I was in prison. How
about you?
el_effu_gone_wild: never been
there thank you
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver:
your welcome
el_effu_gone_wild: ok
el_effu_gone_wild: you can try
el_effu_gone_wild: with
el_effu_gone_wild: madamlibrarian21
el_effu_gone_wild: that's a nick find her
yourself
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: I go down
on your warm wet pussy
el_effu_gone_wild:
try also anamaria_maria2003 you might find her too
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: licking it
el_effu_gone_wild: you aint going nowhere with
me
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: then I turn you
over and make you eat my ass. mmmmm that fills good babe your tits are
big
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: Oh mmmm, just
like that. I take you by the hips and do you fast lick a prison
Guard
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver:
hello
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver:
el_effu_gone_wild are you playing?
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: hi?
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: answer me bitch or i'll stab
you on the block
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: I
didn't mean that come back to bed
juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: that it fish , your going to
be guided
----------------------------------------------------------------------
bloodninja: I lick your earlobe,
and undo your watch.
Sarah19fca: mmmm,
okay.
bloodninja: I take yo pants off,
grunting like a troll.
Sarah19fca: Yeah I
like it rough.
bloodninja: I smack you thick
booty.
Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels
good.
bloodninja: Smack, Smack,
yeeeaahhh.
bloodninja: I make some toast and
eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack.
Mmmm.
Sarah19fca: you like that?
bloodninja: I peel some bananas.
Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with
those?
bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts
from the ballpark.
Sarah19fca:
Peanuts?
bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr.
Yeaaaaahhh.
Sarah19fca: What are you talking
about?
bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down
into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
Sarah19fca: This is stupid.
bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some
beer.
bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone
Cold?
bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
Sarah19fca: /ignore
bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a b*tch
anyway.
bloodninja: We get on harleys and
ride into the sunset.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate: OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)
DirtyKate: Who are you?
bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work
out a lot
bloodninja: And I have a part time
job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the
back of your car..
bloodninja: Maybe some
other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza
just dripping with sauce.
bloodninja: Well,
first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you",
then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So
that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house
now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes
to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
**pause**
DirtyKate: I'm almost finished with my shower...
Hurry up!
bloodninja: You can't hurry good
pizza.
bloodninja: I'm on my way now
though
**pause**
DirtyKate: So you're at
my front door now.
bloodninja: How did you
know?
bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear
me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put
the pizza down on your coffee table.
bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as
hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate: Oooohh yeah.
I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up
baby
bloodninja: So you're still in the
bathroom?
DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a
towel around myself.
bloodninja: I can no
longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other
hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms
and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I
blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the
front door....
DirtyKate: What the
f**k?
DirtyKate: You perverted piece of
s**t
DirtyKate: F**k
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Partner6: So you're really a 18
yr old girl right?
J-Dogg: Yeah, J for
Julie.
Partner6: So whats with the
"Dogg"
J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the
latina gangs and sh*t. You know, rollin with tha homies and sh*t.
Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a
gun?
J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6
guns.
Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see
my gun?
J-Dogg: hehe, of course
baby.
Partner6: I pull off my pants and show
you my "gun".
J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so
big.
Partner6: Yeah, what you want to
do?
J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or
something.
Partner6: It likes that.
J-Dogg: aight.
Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...
J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then
gently.
Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.
J-Dogg: I unzip my pants...
Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.
J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your
breasts...
Partner6: WTF?!
J-Dogg: Oh sh*t, I meant, your schlong! your
schlong!
Partner6: I've had it with you
queers trying to cyber me, I only f*ck women...
J-Dogg: Sh*t just don't shoot me man, I wasn't
serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed!
Partner6: You dipsh*t.
J-Dogg: I whimper to myself...
J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr.
Contact/Submit
theNSAisWATCHIN
News Monster
Images Archive
News Monster Archive
The Killing The Messenger Web
Portal